I got to thinking about the topic of upbringing after having had a phone conversation with my mother. Somehow mine and my siblings' upbringing came up and my mother asked me if I had any negative experiences growing up. My reply was an assured, "Yes." Although my mother was clearly apologetic, I didn't say it to fish for an apology, I said it more as a matter of fact. I continued on to say that life shouldn't be sugary sweet all the time, anyway. That we all have to go through rough patches. I think how we deal with these rough patches is what defines us, and it's the rough patches in life that make the good times...well, good.

I mentally continued this conversation long after I hung up the phone and I was able to elaborate upon my ideas a little bit more. I figure that not everyone's upbringing is perfect. I'd like to believe that not one person has had a flawless childhood removed of negative events. Everyone has had something traumatizing happen to them, in varying degrees. It could've been as small as having had a bad fall or having had a dentist who was overly enthusiastic with their practice, or the degree of the trauma could have been as large as being violated in one way or another. I can see how it might be difficult to recover from the more major of childhood traumas where support from professionals is necessary, but I think most people can, and do, handle those run-of-the-mill ones pretty decently and move on. There are individuals out there who choose to be victimized by their past misfortunes and that in itself is unfortunate. To use past trauma to excuse bad behavior or to use as a scapegoat in bad decision making is never a good coping strategy. Mistakes are made and bad things happen. Learn from them. Find strength in mistakes and misfortune. Define yourself not by the drama that ensues with each unfortunate event, but by the knowledge and wisdom you've gleaned over time by seeing life's mishaps as opportunities to learn and grow.